BIGGER BLOGGER

Wow, this is the dumbest thing I’ve even heard.  A guy managed to get a light bulb stuck up his butt and claims he doesn’t know how it got there!  Either the guy is REALLY dumb, or he has a weird fetish that he didn’t want to own up to.  I guess being in prison can make you do strange things.  I think next time he should try something more conventional like a cucumber or a dildo.

Check out the story Via Boing Boing and Yahoo

Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan, says he woke up last weekend with a glass light bulb in his anus.

On Wednesday night, doctors brought Mohammad’s misery to an end after a one-and-a-half hour operation to remove the object.

"Thanks Allah, now I feel comfort. Today, I had my breakfast. I was just drinking water, nothing else," Mohammad, a grey-beared man in his mid-40s, told Reuters from a hospital bed in the southern central city of Multan.

"We had to take it out intact," said Dr. Farrukh Aftab at Nishtar Hospital. "Had it been broken inside, it would be a very very complicated situation."

Mohammad, who is serving a four-year sentence for making liquor, prohibited for Muslims, said he was shocked when he was first told the cause of his discomfort. He swears he didn’t know the bulb was there.

"When I woke up I felt a pain in my lower abdomen, but later in hospital, they told me this," Mohammad said.

"I don’t know who did this to me. Police or other prisoners."

The doctor treating Mohammad said he’d never encountered anything like it before, and doubted the felon’s story that someone had drugged him and inserted the bulb while he was comatose. Thanks Arieanna

Tags: anal, anal plug, lightbulb in ass, prison, sex with lightbulb

At first I thought this might be the best argument ever against virginity, but Bernie at Planck’s Constant says it should be required viewing for stupid MySpace teenagers who are prone to running off to the Middle East. He’s got a good point, since Islam is bullshit anyway. And why the hell [...]

So I, of course, once knew the song stylings of Gavin Degraw mostly thanks to the efforts of STAR 98.7 -- the radio station in Los Angeles that plays a mixture of 80s music, moderately hip adult contemporary numbers, and...

That is the opinion over at NRO:

...the Court had no business deciding this case at all. Not only did it target the president’s commander-in-chief authority to determine what is militarily necessary in wartime, it also imperiously slapped down the U.S. Congress. In last December’s Detainee Treatment Act (DTA), Congress — acting on its constitutional prerogative — rescinded the unprecedented jurisdiction that the Supreme Court, in the 2004 Rasul case, had tried claimed over alien enemy combatants captured in wartime and held outside the U.S. (that is, outside the jurisdiction of U.S. courts). This Court, however, acknowledges no limits on its powers — whether imposed by Congress or by the English language, which it had to torture in order to construe the DTA’s unambiguous limitation of its jurisdiction as an invitation to meddle.

And meddle it did. It rewrote legislation that clearly authorized the military commissions for captured terrorists that President Bush ordered in late 2001. It rewrote the Geneva Conventions. And it claimed for itself the mantle of final authority over both international relations and military necessity — matters in which it is wholly lacking institutional competence and which the Framers committed singularly to the chief executive.

I'm going to need some legal help here - so any lawyers, please tell me what this means in the DTA:

1) IN GENERAL- Section 2241 of title 28, United States Code, is amended by adding at the end the following:

`(e) Except as provided in section 1005 of the Detainee Treatment Act of 2005, no court, justice, or judge shall have jurisdiction to hear or consider--

`(1) an application for a writ of habeas corpus filed by or on behalf of an alien detained by the Department of Defense at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba; or

`(2) any other action against the United States or its agents relating to any aspect of the detention by the Department of Defense of an alien at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, who--

`(A) is currently in military custody; or

`(B) has been determined by the United States Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit in accordance with the procedures set forth in section 1005(e) of the Detainee Treatment Act of 2005 to have been properly detained as an enemy combatant.'.

Now, that seems to say that no judge has an ability to hear a case arising out of the detainees in Gitmo - except the US Court of Appeals in DC, and that only as it relates to appeals of status - ie, someone claiming to not legitimately be deteined in Gitmo (this, I presume, designed to prevent the transfer of a prisoner from the jurisdiction of the US to Gitmo). The Act goes on to say that the DC Court of Appeals shall have exclusve jurisdiction - that seems to mean that once the DC Court has spoken, all judicial appeals are exhuasted. Or have I got that wrong?

If NRO is right - and my reading of DTA agrees, thus far, with NRO opinion - then the Supreme Court had no authority to rule...in which case, the Hamdan ruling is as valid as my ruling that Michael Moore's weight is unconstitutional. Now, President Bush wouldn't go the route of Jackson - the Supreme Court has ruled, now let them enforce - but I wish he would. It his high time to smack down these judges and let them know that in the United States, five black-robed political partisans aren't the be-all and end-all of our laws.

I’ve just spent the last hour trying to get barely enough of a connection to the internets to post something, and now I am just going to say fuckit. I’ll post something later of substance when things are working better and I don’t have to pull my hair out to link to other stuff. (PLEASE [...]