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Rush Limbaugh
Original Harry Reid/Rush Limbaugh Smear Letter
Football is number 1, but my second love would have to be politics. I love watching the strategy. I love it when superior intellect reveals itself in the dirty politics. Dont get me wrong, I dont love dirty politics, I just love it when the door slams shut on the people practing it.
Rush Limbaugh slammed the door on the democrats latest “drive by media” blitz in their attempt to lose the war on terror for the purpose of stealing from the middle class.
Here is a summary of the story:
Democrats find a United States soldier that gave his first hand testimony about how the US was killing innocent women and children ( Mcbeth)
They put his statements on the front page of every paper to hurt the republicans “Gotch YA”
Soldier turns out to be a phony - was kicked out of boot camp and never went to Iraq
Rush Limbaugh calls him a phony
Democrats get on front page of paper calling out Rush Limbaugh for hating US soldiers
Democrat senators use your tax dollars to meet and write a letter to Rush’s broadcast network to force him to apoligize
Rush’s network gets letter, laughs, and gives it to him
Rush Limbaugh auctions off letter with proceeds going to his military charity.
Rush Limbaugh gets priceless publicity for the show that the democrats wanted shut down, at their expense.
COWS
DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. Barbara Streisand sings for you.
REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So? ……It’s not your fault he didn’t stay in school. Never-the-less, ultimately you take pity on your neighbor and see that his children have milk, while you encourage him to accept responsibility for his situation and to work hard to acquire his own cows.
SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the second one. You force the 2 cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch. Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately, they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don’t know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have some vodka. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. The Mafia shows up and takes over how ever many cows you really have.
POLISH CORPORATION: You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
FLORIDA CORPORATION: You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who like the brown one best vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can’t figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best-looking one.
NEW YORK CORPORATION: You have fifteen million cows. You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd, so you pick some fat cow from Arkansas.
Liberal Jokes
As seen on Cowboyblog.com
Question - What is the difference between a liberal and a puppy? Answer - A puppy stops whining after it grows up.
