SPORTS

It was the lead item on SportsCenter last night, Michael Strahan’s little media outburst. It was an entertaining, passionate, spirited … something or other. From what I can gather, Michael Strahan is angry about something that Michael Strahan said.

Strahan went on some radio show, and said some things about Plaxico Burress and how he quit on a play against the Titans. He had some nice things to say about Plax, too, I suppose … I don’t know. Here’s the quote:

“It’s a shame,” Strahan said on the radio Monday. “You can’t give up. You can’t quit, because you’re not quitting on yourself, you’re quitting on everybody. I don’t quite understand what his lack of motivation is in those types of situations. But I’m going to try to see what it is, and if I can talk to him about it. He’s too good for that.”

And that same quote was ready to Plaxico Burress by ESPN reporter Kelly Naqi. Burress hadn’t heard it before, and he was legitimately surprised by it. But he didn’t make a big deal about anything, he said he’d talk to Strahan privately, whatever. And then at the end of Giants media time today, Strahan went nuts on Naqi.

“Come here, I want to see your face when you ask me this question, the way you are going to ask it. I know you are going to ask it in a way there is more division and more of a negative way than it was, so come here, I want to see your face, please. You’re a responsible journalist, look me in the eye and ask this question the way you want to ask it. Look a man in the eye before you try to kill him or make up something. Look me in the eye.”

Well, yeah, but … you said it, jackass. Kelly Naqi quoted you. She didn’t make up any quotes, she didn’t take anything out of context … she just quoted what you said. Again, you said it.

The problem was that the way she asked it was too negative? What do you want her to do, put on a cheerleader outfit, and read Burress the quote like she was reading him Green Eggs and Ham? You want her to slip Burress a half a dozen Prozac before she reads the quote? It’s a quote, as in, that’s exactly what you said, dickweed.

So Strahan embarrassed this reporter, called her out in front of everyone … because he called Plaxico Burress a quitter and then didn’t want to take responsibility for it. For someone who made it a point yesterday to tell the world that he’s “a man” about forty-five times, that’s a pretty bitch thing to do.

You can see video of Plax hearing the comments for the first time, Strahan’s ridiculous outburst, and listen to a Dan Patrick interview with Kelly Naqi here.

In a season that’s seen Randy Moss’s weekly passive-aggressive outbursts, the suspension of Jerry Porter for no real reason, and the mid-season firing of the offensive coordinating pillow-fluffer … this one might be the weirdest for the Raiders. Art Shell is accusing someone within the Raiders organization of trying to undermine the coaching staff and sabotage the team.

He won’t say who it is. It’s not a player or a coach and it’s not Al Davis. He believes someone in the organization is calling media members around the country and criticizing coaches.

“I’m a fighter,” Shell said. “I sit back and I watch things happen and then it gets to the point where you cross the line. That line has been crossed and I won’t sit back and allow it to happen anymore.”

Why would you allow it to happen at all, fighter? It’s Week 12, man. If this is true, and someone is doing that (and I’m not ruling out the possibility that Shell is just paranoid and senile), isn’t that the sort of thing you’d want to stop immediately? Why wait?

Then again … why wait twelve weeks to fire the coordinator of an offense that never really seemed to exist? Say this for him … Art Shell is a patient man. I think he’s probably waiting for just the right time before arguing with the officials about the Vincent Jackson/fumble/forward pass call.

Just a weird, weird story. Ultimately, it’s probably even a meaningless story … it’s just that I can’t envision any other organization in the NFL, and less than a handful in all of professional sports, where a story like this is even possible. Every organization employs a douchebag or two, I’m sure, but … to the point where the head coach is telling the media about the anonymous evil guy who’s trying to destroy the team from within? You don’t see that every day.

It amazes me that the Raiders are playing as well as they are … which, I’m aware, is not at a Super Bowl level or anything, but … they haven’t quit. Hell, this team should quit. They’re 2-9, the most talented player on the team has made himself worthless, the head coach is worried about bullshit like this, the return of Aaron Brooks was seen as a good thing, and this team, at least the defense, still goes out there and works their ass off on Sundays.

I don’t know if it’s admirable or sad.

Eh, not really. But I made new Power Rankings, and I think you’ll enjoy them as much as you’ll enjoy these photographs of the world’s greatest mother.