love animals, they taste great.
EARTH FIRST! We’ll stripmine the other planets later.
“Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.”
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
He who laughs last thinks slowest!
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
President Herbert Hoover |
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. |
President Bill Clinton |
Check out these damn hippies. We will be in trouble if hippies like this ever get in charge of anything.
Please dont vote for these hippies any more.
Strange Facts
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
Coca-Cola was originally green.
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.
Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.
Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.
City with the most Rolls Royce’s per capita: Hong Kong
State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
Barbie’s measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33
Cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400
Average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000.
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
The world’s youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.
The youngest pope was 11 years old.
First novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David
Clubs - Alexander the Great,
Hearts-Charlemagne, and
Diamonds - Julius Caesar.
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn’t added until 5 years later.
“I am.” is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
The term “the whole 9 yards” came from W.W.II fighter pilots in the South Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got “the whole 9 yards.”
Hershey’s Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it’s kissing the conveyor belt.
The phrase “rule of thumb” is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn’t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.
The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the “General Purpose” vehicle, G.P.
The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
The only two days of the year in which there are no professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day before and the day after the Major League all-stars Game.
Original Harry Reid/Rush Limbaugh Smear Letter
Football is number 1, but my second love would have to be politics. I love watching the strategy. I love it when superior intellect reveals itself in the dirty politics. Dont get me wrong, I dont love dirty politics, I just love it when the door slams shut on the people practing it.
Rush Limbaugh slammed the door on the democrats latest “drive by media” blitz in their attempt to lose the war on terror for the purpose of stealing from the middle class.
Here is a summary of the story:
Democrats find a United States soldier that gave his first hand testimony about how the US was killing innocent women and children ( Mcbeth)
They put his statements on the front page of every paper to hurt the republicans “Gotch YA”
Soldier turns out to be a phony - was kicked out of boot camp and never went to Iraq
Rush Limbaugh calls him a phony
Democrats get on front page of paper calling out Rush Limbaugh for hating US soldiers
Democrat senators use your tax dollars to meet and write a letter to Rush’s broadcast network to force him to apoligize
Rush’s network gets letter, laughs, and gives it to him
Rush Limbaugh auctions off letter with proceeds going to his military charity.
Rush Limbaugh gets priceless publicity for the show that the democrats wanted shut down, at their expense.